if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
