Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize