We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
