And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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