just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
