its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
