Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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