so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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