dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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