Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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