its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
high people should be assigned attendants
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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