did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
operation have a gay friend backfired
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
