did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
