bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
