No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
