got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
