escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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