So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
