Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
