It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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