Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
