Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
