why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
