your thong is hanging out like whoa
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
