covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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