the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
