I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
