Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
