Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
