Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
