Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
