How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
