i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Its about making memories worth repressing
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize