wakey wakey hands off snakey
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize