So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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