suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
