Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
