if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Can you bring me the toilet please
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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