Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
