I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
