Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
