i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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