so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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