i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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