My first STD was from a foam party
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
