Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i dont even know how to be here
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
