i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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