Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
