Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
