i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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