apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
