No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Randomize
