I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
