the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
