She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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