It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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