angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize