You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Randomize
