Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize