Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
