you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
