HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
