operation harelip BJ is a go
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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